How to manage expectations. Will it rain, shine or freeze?

September 2025

Hello Dear Reader// Hoi lieve lezer,

Welcome Spring!

Thanks for subscribing to our Kaapsche Hollandsche Monthly Table Talk.
Last month (click Here) we talked about how to be a good tourist.

This brand new Spring Month of September we table talk about how to manage our expectations.

By definition, an expectation is not an agreement between people; instead, expectations are beliefs that a certain outcome or event will happen.

With the emphasis on beliefs, based upon strongly held assumptions. And you know what they say about assume? It makes an ass put of you and me.

Let’s start with an example to illustrate.

You plan a great surprise party and set everything in order – all the bells and whistles. Your loved one comes home and had a bad day. All this person wants to do is switch off and be by themselves. Surprise!
They open the door and there are all the friends and people to celebrate them…..

The response is halfhearted and not at all jolly and appreciative.

Then you realised that this person failed to live up to your expectations, but that isn’t their fault. The expectations were yours; they had no obligation to fulfill them.
They did not know about all the planning and work and effort that went in here.

Basically we have 2 kind of expectations:
1. Your own
2. People’s

It might be good to understand that our own expectations are nothing more than our best guesses fabricated into a kind of “you theory“.

Basically your own expectations are really- at their core- our deeply held opinions mixed up with a big heap of hope.

We manage our expectations to never assume. When in doubt, rather ask.

When expectations are projected onto others, the consequences can be very uncomfortable when the assumptions fail and they feel that they’ve not lived up to…well, expectations!

Slightly more difficult than managing our own expectations is managing other people’s expectations of us. But you can do it, and it is absolutely worth investing your time and energy into.

How to manage expectations?

Be pro active!
-Communicate. Over communicate, set boundaries. Be precise.
-Anticipate Problems.
Be aware of potential worst case scenarios and how you would handle those.
-Know the bias of other people.
The more you can anticipate people’s stands on issues or belief, the better you can manage their expectations.
Especially when they have pre conceived ideas. You better know of these!

You will feel empowered once you implement the strategies, for both eliminating expectations of others, and for not allowing others to have expectations of you.

At least you have been made aware today by reading this Table Talk Darling!

Start making memories around your table, it will make you truly rich.