March 2025
Hello Dear Reader // Hoi lieve lezer,
Thanks for subscribing to our Kaapsche Hollandsche Monthly Table Talk.
Last month (click here) you could read all about how to handle trouble.
How to honour your father and your mother.
This month we table talk around what it means to honour your father and mother? Does it include your in-laws too?
First of all, God is invested in relationships. He desires a relationship with each of us.
To illustrate the structure of the relationship, He created the family. He is called the Father.
The way we respect our parents says a lot about how we show respect to God.
Honouring our father and our mother teaches us how to honour our Heavenly Father better.
Mind this dear reader; other people are observing the way you honour or dishonour your parents in word and action.
Especially; take note here:
when you are a parent, your children will learn how to treat you by watching how you treat their grandparents.
As both you and your parents grow older, one will find that you have the privilege of caring and providing for them.
How to Honour Your Parents as an Adult
• 1. Be thankful for them.
• 2. Talk to them respectfully.
• 3. Ask for their advice.
• 4. Pray for them.
• 5. Encourage them.
• 6. Tell them the truth.
• 7. Take care of them.
• 8. Extend Mercy to them.
Also, as you grow into adulthood, endeavor to be the person or parent they weren’t.
Break the cycle of drama and heartache and fill the cracks with God’s love and restoration instead.
Remind yourself you cannot do this in your own strength – it takes the supernatural love of God to esteem, value, and treat them with love and consideration. Or to forgive them and grant them mercy.
Not honoring parents can lead to strained family relationships, conflict, and emotional distress.
Honour your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Honour begets honour. God will not honour those who will not obey His command to honour their parents.
If we desire to please God and be blessed, we should honour our parents.
Honouring is not easy, is not always fun, and certainly is not possible in our own strength. But honour is the way to our purpose in life- glorifying God the Father.
You may feel that by honouring your abusive parent, you are excusing his/ her behaviour.
Remember that no evil will escape God’s eyes or go unpunished.
Instead of dwelling on bad memories or scars, consider how God has used this parent of yours to make you the person you are today.
You need to honour your parents not because you think they deserve it, but because God asked you to. Forgive them. Move on.
I acknowledge this month the love and sacrifice my parents have shown in caring, clothing, schooling, feeding, teaching, and raising me.
They even allowed me to study and repair my teeth with expensive orthodontist visits. I am grateful.
Also for introducing me to the gospel, to church family and natural family.
But most of all to show me the Father’s Love.
I acknowledge that for the first 19 years or so I was a self-centered, ungrateful receiver of their love and resources.
Having 4 kids of our own who also stayed for about 18/19 years each in our primary care, I realised even more the gratitude I carry for my own parents.
When you finally grow up into parenting you have to take responsibility in attempting to turn a one-way street into a two-lane highway.
That starts with honouring.
Don’t we all desire a strong relationship with our parents?
Maybe your parents are still waiting for you to thank and honor them for what they did well in raising you?
Parents need a tangible demonstration of our love now. Why wait until after they die to express how you feel?
So this month’s Table Talk is my public tribute to my dearest Dutch parents Jan en Truus Havinga.
They taught me to think critically and argue/ debate.
They taught me humility and kindness to others who are less fortunate.
They showed me what a blessed marriage is by keeping their covenant for 55 years this 21 of March 2025.
They honoured my grandparents before my eyes.
As peculiar as they seem, God used their gifts and personalities to co-mould me in who I am today.
I am grateful!
Start making memories around your table, it will make you truly rich!
Met liefde,
Nelleke van Heerden
